Since I was little, I have always struggled with my weight. I’m the chubbiest (and shortest) among my siblings. I got my first period when I was in 3rd grade, 8 years old, way earlier than my friends. At that time, I gained even more weight, my chest grew. Before I knew it, I was a giant among my friends. And the worst part was, I didn’t get any education about puberty at that time because, of course, it is uncommon for girls to hit puberty at such age. I didn’t realize how important this was until a few years later.
4-6th Grade; 52 kg
Fast forward to middle school. I was overly self-conscious with how I looked, embarrassed, especially with all the teasing and mean words from certain people. I would wear the largest t-shirts and baggy pants just to hide myself. I would cry and cry many times after school. There, unknowingly to my parents, I started to diet vigorously. I lost a lot of weight and became skinny at 45 kg. My friends started to compliment on how good I looked and I was no longer bullied. Clothes started to fit me and I gained my confidence slowly, although my body was suffering inside. I was hungry most of the time until I rarely felt the need to eat.
Education about puberty was introduced during middle school. Based on all of the information, the only point I think was the most important was the advise on the importance of exercise and being active, which is helpful in reaching the height to the best potential. At that time I had my period for 4 years already and unfortunately, this information came a little too late. I didn’t gain anymore height, I was and still am 150 cm. See, being short is another bait for bullies. This time, however, in order to ‘maybe’ gain more height (and lose more weight), I started to do sports. So I played tennis, soccer and basketball. I felt healthy, in a better way this time.
Middle school; 45 kg
I played basketball throughout high school. I would practically play 3-4 times every week during school’s extracurricular and kept on going. FYI, I didn’t do anymore diet at this time. My exercise had allowed me to eat regularly and simply kept my weight. I believe, that was the healthiest I ever felt in my life.
That drastically changed during the time that I went to college overseas. I went from being the most active to almost a “couch potato.” I said almost because the only exercise I did was walking to and from my campus, work place and around the city. I rarely took any public transportation as I lived in downtown, so everywhere is usually within walking distance. I knew I started to gain the weight back, but hey I thought it was normal, since I didn’t play any sports anymore. I was 48 kg.
High School - College
However, it got worse when I returned back to Jakarta. Scratch that. I was in the worst state. I just couldn’t get back to exercising. My eating habits were a havoc. I didn’t put any boundaries whatsoever in the food I consumed. I gradually gained weight and had close to none success with my diet. In a 4-year span, I gained 13 kg. I can’t believe I’m going to disclose this, but I was 61 kg with 150 cm of height. I was indeed overweight.
Lo and behold, even the black dress couldn't save me
That was it, the breaking point, March 2012 to be exact. Something had to change, immediately. I knew that I wasn’t going to succeed with just dieting anymore. And one thing for sure, I knew I wasn’t healthy. I had to go back to exercising. It’s that plain and simple.
So what did I do? I signed up to the closest gym.
Want to know how I did it and all in between? Stay tuned.